Set it Free

Dear_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _:

You have gained my respect throughout the years and I have learned to thank you for always walking by my side since the day we met.

I am composing this letter with a purpose; something I would like to point out.

Even though, you have been with me in the "good times" and in the "bad times", you never offered your hand every time you watched me fall and you never wiped my tears every endless night that I cried myself to sleep. No. You stood there, waiting. But, for what, I might ask?

Were you waiting for me to stand up and sweep away the dust off my shoulders by myself?

My heart has turned cold and black and it is because you were there when I needed you, but you did not do anything.

You are the reason why I sweat. You are the reason why I cry. You are the reason why I bleed.

The excruciating pain paints a smile I only wear as an accessory for the nude eye to see. And your thoughts remain silent. They are hidden from the world and probably from yourself.

Yet, nobody knows me the way that you do. Nevertheless, you use it for your personal satisfaction. You want to cause me pain-you enjoy every second of it.

I am tired of you torturing me with the unpleasant images in black and white. I am sick of the blurry whispers of sorrow.

Our secret is that the thoughts and unsaid words lead me into a waterfall full of redness and lies. I have put my every thing out for you. I even agreed not to say anything, but I cannot contain it anymore. At least, let me scream it to the deserted wind-even for just a moment.

I do not want to keep being your prisoner. The shackles are painful and the moments still linger and circle my insides. It is blocking my view and I want to explore it all. Set me free. Let me be.

You have left me broken without anything else to lose and I swear, I honestly cannot contain this hole and darkness in my soul and it's just because I feel possessed. I am a marionette with an invisible master; merely a stray dog without a place to stay and without a hand for comfort.

I am afraid. What will happen once I am free? Will you be the one to liberate me? Or do I have to stand up for my own once again? If I were to collapse on the process, will you pity me? Or do I have to regain undesirable strengths to survive?

I do not want any more lies. I do not want any more tears mixed with scarlet hopes spill over the floor. I just want return to the normal person I was-if I ever became such a thing.

When I mean that I have become a monster, I dislike the fact that almost everybody-especially you-keeps telling me that those kinds of things are not the right ones to say. Again, I hate the lies, then, why should I pretend and shut my lips when I am correct?

I am not asking for you to leave me, let alone feel sorry for me. All I am asking is for an apology, my freedom, but overall, an understanding of my words and regret from your actions. I may have a dark heart for some things you have caused, but there is still warmth in there. It is telling you that you are already forgiven, even though you have a ruined a big part of my life.

Someday, I might actually grow out of it and become an example for others who were once like me. I hope you do realize your mistakes and finally set me free.

Sincerely,

Anonymous.